gross, anatomy that is. part I

i really meant to write about what is was like to dissect a cadaver early on--when it was shocking, and gross (ha, puns are fun), and fascinating, and simply indescribable. luckily, the fascination just keeps coming. this week i sawed through ribs. i held a human heart. i felt how spongy the lungs are (really--like a cheaply made stress ball). the grossness ain't going no where neither: today in class meagan whispered to me, "do they take the poop out when they embalm?" no my dear friend, they certainly do not.

but let's start at the very beginning, when all one hundred and twenty four of us had clean scrubs fresh off the shelves of walmart and only a vague idea of gross anatomy lab, partially formed by second year comments like, "everything will get greasy, so have a dissector* and an atlas* you leave in lab," or, "make sure you double glove," or "just pray for a skinny body, you don't want to be picking off fat on weekends."

our first lab, although by far the cleanest, was probably the most difficult for me. i've never been to an open casket funeral, and i've never watched anyone die, so unzipping that black body bag on day one was not only an introduction to the 88-year-old woman whose insides i would learn, well...inside-out, it was also the first dead person i had ever seen. that day we adjusted to the formaldehyde while performing a skin exam on our cadaver. not one of the four of us prayed enough; our cadaver was not thin. extra weekends loomed. we covered the hands and feet and head in damp cheesecloth to prevent any drying out. with the exceptions of a few slips here and there i haven't seen the face of our cadaver since that say. sort of akin to surgery i imagine, slicing through skin and sawing through bone is much easier when the face is covered and you're thinking only of what nerve you're attempting to preserve. i'll be sure to update when we get to the head.

i won't push my luck here. let's call this installment one of...many.

*dissector - the dissection bible, akin to a roadmap

*atlas - a gigantic anatomy picture book. that you will memorize.

i know....i know...

i. am. so. bad. at. this. i promise, i'm going to try harder! in fact, i plan to post again later this week. i know, wild.

medical school is tough, it's consuming, it's fascinating, and sometimes it makes me wonder if i'm retaining enough of what makes me, me. sure, i've been cooking my ass off in an attempt to express my creativity in some way. but am i loosing something else? i have no time for pottery, or writing (soon to change, soon to change dear blog)--no room in my brain for anything but enzymes and nerves and cells.

but then i have this. besas makes me get out of the house and walk on the beach when the sun is high or when it's low on the horizon and the light makes the water and sand look oh so spectacular.
the water and sand and the sun, and this crazy sweet hyper dog take over and medical school slips to the side, if even for a moment, because yes, all this while i am listening to the sweet sweet sounds of my physiology professor in my ipod.